I leave today. In fact, I am posting from the airport. As I drove here this morning, and my passenger (who would drive my car back after dropping me off) slept, I thought about the journey to come. I found myself reflecting on what my mindset would be were I still drinking. Here’s how my internal dialogue would have gone on that car ride:
“OK, so after I get through security and into the terminal, I’ll locate the bar. I should have a solid two hours before getting on the plane. However, that’s too much time to drink at the airport – too expensive. Oh, good! It’s 6 AM now. Let me find a promising freeway exit and pick up a couple of little bottles now, on the way there, which I’ll drink right before getting in line at security. OK, done. Now, after I drink these, and get to security, I’ll go to the bar and have a double shot and a beer, which I’ll try to nurse as long as possible. Then I’ll go smoke a cigarette, just to kill some time so I don’t spend too much money at the airport bar. It’ll take a while to go back through security, so… Regardless, Eric, self, listen to me. Once on the plane, you should hit the beverage cart hard the first time it passes – it won’t pass nearly often enough. So get maybe three little bottles when she passes by the first time. By the time you are done with those, you’ll be ready to pass out. When you wake up, just have one or two more from the cart to fix the hangover, because you’ll feel super shitty, but you don’t want to push it too far and get off the plane drunk and have to drive somewhere with work people in that condition.”
But that’s not my dialogue today. I walked into the airport, and saw the bars, and I actually smiled. I’m not sure why, but the thought of drinking right now just seems impossibly ridiculous and not at all desirable. Well, I’m not sure why, but I thinking that all the AA meetings, and talks with my sponsor, and reading sober blogs and such might have something to do with it. Anyhow, one 14 hour long sober plane ride, coming up shortly.