Boo, 1100 paces Eric, boo, boo, boo….
I’m tired of being me. I’m tired of always second guessing myself. I’m tired of being an egotistical bastard, or a self-loathing sad sack, or a bubbly pink cloud, or an oh so zen poet, or a hard working achiever, or a pragmatic problem solver, or a lazy sloth, or a gluttonous beast, or a blabbermouth, or an indignant ranter, or a finger wagging scold, or a mechanic of abstract analysis, or a guy with a toothache. I’m tired of saying the wrong thing. I’m tired of not knowing if I’ve said the wrong thing. I’m tired of it all. I just want peace.
Is any of that true, or is it just prose? Beats the shit outta me.
But I think the following two things are entirely honest:
I finished my second step worksheets this evening, and that feels like it’s worth something. Also, I’m hopeful that working the steps will reduce my confusion and uncertainty.