Teeth feeling worse. Pants on fire. Otherwise, good.

by erics1100paces

My teeth are hurting again.  I’d bite the bullet and go to the dentist, but biting a bullet would be agonizing.  Ha cha cha cha!  But seriously, tooth pain sucks ass.

Anyhow, not a lot to report.  I was asked to “be Bill” tonight.  That was nice.  The format of the meeting is interesting.  The chair picks someone to read a selection of his choosing from “As Bill Sees It,” and to then talk about it for 10-15 minutes.  This is known as “being Bill.”  I had a couple of minutes before the meeting to flip through the book (which is a book I don’t own) and find a selection to read.  I chose p. 123, “The New AA and his Family,” which quotes from the 12 and 12, and includes this sentence: the wife is forced to become the mother of an erring boy, and the alcoholic alternately loves and hates her maternal care.

It was a good thing for me to choose to read.  I relate to it, and knew I could speak from the heart on the subject.  Which I did.  But also…

I lied during my 10 minutes.

I have spent a considerable portion of my time since reflecting upon why I did so.  It was such a strange thing to lie about too.  I said, “This is a quote is from another book, I don’t remember which, either the Big Book or the 12 and 12 I think, but I have definitely read it before, I know that.”  The lying part was that I didn’t know which book it was from.  I did know.  It was from the 12 and 12.  It said so right at the bottom of page 123 of  “As Bill See It.”  I saw that and noted it when I read the selection.  I had just looked at those words not two minutes prior, and I knew I was lying when I said that, and I said it anyway.

Why did I do that?

 

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