An Alkie’s Worst Nightmare

by erics1100paces

The business peeps took my housemate and me out to dinner tonight.

Here are the facts:

1.  It’s work people.

2.  I’m not paying my own bill.

3.  We’re seated at a table in full view of the bar.

4.  The others at the table had a large beer each.

Question:  Why is this a nightmare for a practicing alcoholic?

A possible non-alcoholic’s answer:

1.  The alcoholic can’t drink because it’s a work function, and he knows if he has one, he’ll go on a bender.

2.  He’ll lament the fact that he’s missing a golden opportunity to drink for free.

3.  He’ll be constantly tempted by seeing the bar.

4.  Watching his table mates drink will make him want to drink even more, and make him feel left out.

My answer:

1.  I’d have to slow, limit, and/or hide consumption because it’s work people.

2.  I wouldn’t be able to order whatever and how much I want out of respect for the other guy’s wallet.

3.  I wouldn’t be able “go to the bathroom” and order a couple of secret shots at the bar to supplement the maximum I can reasonably squeeze out of the table drinking, because my table mates would see me at the bar ordering them.

4.  The maximum table drinking I could get away with would be probably 2 large beers (twice as much as the others), and no hard liquor.


Were I drinking, I would have been itching to get this dinner over with as quickly as possible, so I could go off by myself and finish drinking properly.

Instead, I had pleasant evening.