Constantly

by erics1100paces

Henceforth, when the subject of sugar comes up in meetings, I shall self-righteously wag my finger and refer the speaker to pages 133-134.

“One of the many doctors who had the opportunity of reading this book in manuscript form told us that…all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available…He added that in the night a vague craving arose which would be satisfied by candy.”

I love the use of the word constantly here.  I mean, it’s a funny word in general, as it suggests non-stop action forever.  But I find it particularly funny in this context.  I picture someone carrying chocolate in his hand at all times, completely disregarding the appropriateness of the circumstance:

“Doctor Stevens, can you please put down the candy bar – you’ve got to finish this bypass surgery.”

“I’m sorry, Nurse, but I’m an alcoholic.  I must constantly have chocolate available, which you’d know if you’d ever even considered reading the Big Book.”

“How about I hold the candy for you?  That’s still ‘available’ isn’t it?”

“Dammit woman, I said I’m an alcoholic!  Now go get me another quarter pound of milk chocolate, stat!”

Advertisements