Bad evening

by erics1100paces

The Paso Robles meeting this morning was fine.  Which will have to count as follow through on that.

I had some frustration this evening and made a mess, which makes my head squirrelier than it should.

This trip is comprised of 15 total people in three condos.  This evening, my condo was responsible for dinner.  So my big plan for the day was to make beans.  Long story short, after tending to them all afternoon, I burned them at the very end, right before dinner.  I had to grill the burgers, and left the beans alone for too long, and I burned them.  I was frustrated.  I snapped at my wife.  Then went out to smoke a cigarette.  She came out to comfort me, but I didn’t want to be comforted at that moment, I wanted to be left alone for a few minutes.  I told her as much.

Then I came back inside and the other people arrived.  My wife asked me to lead the family before-dinner prayer.  She wants to “display” that I have changed I think.  Which is kind of annoying.  But that’s fine, I don’t mind leading the prayer.  But I needed a heads up ahead of time.  So I started to do it.  Then she cut me off, and told me people weren’t ready yet.  I didn’t like that.  I said, “God, thank you for my wife who alerts me when people are ready,” and then proceeded into the regular part about the food and the company and such.  She didn’t like that.

All in all it wasn’t a good evening.  I went to an 8 o’clock speaker meeting, which was quite interesting, but obviously didn’t clear my head.  I’m back to the condo now.  She’s mad at me.  I’m mad at her.  It’s my fault.  She didn’t do anything wrong.  But I don’t want to do the whole “I was wrong, I’m sorry” thing at the moment.

Goddammit.

Advertisements